So Far away
by Strawberry-miow
Summary: What could happen to make Ryo finally admit his feelings for Dee?
1. Default Chapter

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DISCLAIMER: I do not own, and never will own, any of the characters/concepts of the manga "FAKE" such things belong to the esteemed writers and artists who put so much work into them. 

SUMMARY: What could happen to make Ryo finally admit his feelings for Dee? 

RATING: PG-13 but inclined to change in later chapters.

AN: This is my first ever attempt at a piece of fanfiction from a manga so please bear with me. I have only read the first volume, along with a wide variety of "FAKE" stories online so I can only hope I can do it, and them, justice with my writings. I would appreciate opinions and whether or not you would like me to continue. Thanks xxx

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So Far Away…

By Strawberry_Miow 

The early morning sunshine rained down upon the earth, rods of golden light hooking onto everybody and pulling them into the realms of the living. Morning dew lined the windows, steam flickering over the plain glass with a grim smile of hesitation, lost in the precarious state of dare. It was a cool morning; one of those that seemed to hover in-between both hot and freezing, never reaching either yet shifting every couple of seconds. One of those mornings where the air hung thick and heavy in the shrouding sky, clouds ruffled around the golden globe in a heated mist of prediction. 

The fans were blowing frigid air throughout the, moderately sized, office of the NYPD`s 27th precinct, of course, the light mumbling complaints of the chief now and then about his officers apparently being more focused on their own body temperatures rather than those who no longer had them. It was a harsh if somewhat mediocre warning, shrugged off by many yet still lingering in the back of those crime-orientated minds. 

"Damn, are you all suffering from heat retention disorder in here or something?" a deep voice spun through the space like roughened silk, gruff street accent tainted only by the light-hearted humour glistening in emerald-drop eyes. 

A low growl could be heard reverberating from the general area of the door as the chief poked his head in; glaring, "Laytner!" the man grumbled as if that very word left a bitter taste in his mouth, "You're late - again!" 

A nonchalant shrug, "Overslept" was Dee`s only way as to an explanation as he slumped down, very unceremoniously, at his overstuffed desk. Slipping his jacket off, he placed it casually over the back of his chair. 

"Well there is a case that has been waiting for your indolent butt so get on it!" 

The raven-haired officer gave a mock salute as his superior's footsteps receded down the corridor. Turning to his desk with a grunt, he began idly flicking through the papers. 

"There is a group targeting children" a slightly softer voice than his own murmured, "The list of attacks and deaths in only a matter of a week is horrendous" 

Verdant eyes looked up, meeting his partner's dark gaze he smiled, "Good morning to you too" a hint of coquettious allure in the tone causing Ryo to blush.

"Oh…umm…Good Morning" the fairer haired officer mumbled demurely, looking down at his computer screen before returning his eyes to Dee`s, "As I--" 

"So, what about this group of kiddy killers?" Dee asked, uncaring timbre as per usual, "Got any leads?" 

A flurry of paper and tapping cut through the conversation before Ryo answered, "All we have is the report and witness names from the latest attack, we have each person on the list to interview" 

A dark head nodded before literally leaping up from the slightly tattered chair, grabbing his jacket as he slipped it back over his broad shoulders, "Right then, let's go!" 

"But Dee…" obsidian eyes protested as they followed the younger man's figure, "You don't--" 

"Fill me in on the way" Ryo sighed, having no choice but to follow his somewhat erratic partner. Grabbing his own jacket from the back of his seat he walked out of the door after Dee, making his way to the other officer's car he climbed in the passenger seat. 

Dee grinned, turning the ignition key of the what he classed to be a `classic car`, Ryo always just thought that was his way of saying it was old. Either way, a car was a car right? Better than most of the station cars anyway, the officer shuddered at the memory of riding in such a hazardous vehicle. 

"So…" the raven-haired figure asked as soon as they were safely (or as close as with Dee`s driving) cruising along the crumpled road out the back of the station, "There a central area these guys hang out? Where most`a the attacks been?" 

A frown crossed the semi-japanese man's lips; eyes darkening slightly, "Near my apartment" he murmured sullenly, "Around the back of the building, most of the children have been those living nearby" 

A look of recognition flashed over Dee`s face, "That's why you've been so…" he didn't know how to say it: disjointed, irritable, lost… "Distracted" 

Ryo nodded, "Yes, I'm just worried…Dee, what if Bikky got targeted? Or Cal?" a misted haze reflected in the inky blackness of upset, worry etched clearly into those impregnable black eyes. 

"Like they'd take Bikky" he snorted, "Kid doesn't know when to shut his trap. They'd let him go once they realised as much" sadistic nature of the case spilled from the officer's lips in a splay of sarcasm, his defence mechanism. He didn't like to admit such things but…it was closer to home than he liked to think. As was Bikky. 

The older man gave him a glare worthy of a thousand deaths, tone somewhat indifferent as he retorted with a sigh, "I know you don't like Bikky but--"

Dee let out a short, sharp laugh, "Like him?! The kid's like--" 

"You" 

A muffled word that was probably better not to be heard escaped the officer's lips at his partner's remark, "Yeah, so we both grew up on the streets, orphans…so? That doesn't make me anything like him! He's obnoxious, stubborn, argumentative; a troublemaker!" a low growl resounded around the base of Dee`s throat as he finished off, good mood suddenly dampened. 

Ryo couldn't help it, he had tried to keep it in but he just couldn't anymore…a loud wave of chuckles burst free of his mouth, Dee quirked a sharp brow at his friend and dark eyes quietened just enough to answer, "I'm sorry Dee but…you just described yourself!" a few more low-key laughs bubbled over before dying down once again as the morality of the case took hold with it's sticky fingers, once again.

"I did--" the raven-haired one began, stopping short as he pulled the car to a stop outside the building. 

"Dee, what's--" the younger man held a finger to Ryo`s lips, hushing him as emerald eyes were locked on something across the road. 

"Look over there…" he whispered, slowly removing his finger from his partner's lips, not noticing Ryo`s tongue unconsciously flick out and lick away the sweetness of the touch. Dark eyes followed where green were pointing, widening slightly at the scene before him. 

"It…it's them!" Ryo exclaimed in a whisper, "It has to be!" 

His partner nodded, gaze still locked on the group across the street and the kid that they were now talking to. Although communication with the child seemed somewhat over-friendly in the officer's books, or should that be over-hostile? A large, butch looking fellow had a hand on a young boy's shoulder whilst trying to lead the agitated child down the alleyway where the two could see, however somewhat hazy, the outlines of a few guys with bats. He swallowed hard, it was usually Ryo who this kinda stuff got to the most…not him. He grit his teeth together and let the feelings dissipate. 

"Dee…" the worried voice of Ryo brought him out of his little impromptu meditation, turning to look briefly at his partner he raised a brow, asking the silence question of what. 

"That…that kid…" came the answer in a muffled flurry, "It looks like…" 

A sudden bang tore both of them to look across the street again, panic settling in somewhat alongside the right thing to do as they watched the man go to grab the kid, the child getting free only to be dazed by the sound of a gunshot. 

A gunshot….Dee mused to himself, means the bastard`s armed…shit. 

An echo of a muffled curse or two caught the officer's attention once again, seeing the other guys assist as they dragged the kid into the disillusioned alleyway, fazed by darkness in the midst's of the day. A flash of honey coloured hair glinted in the sunlight and the realisation hit home. Ryo reaching for the door handle instinctively, as did Dee. 

"Ryo, wait! You can't bust in there alone! You'll--" Dee shouted just loud enough so the gang wouldn't hear as he ran to try and keep up with his ballistic, unnerved partner. His cry cut off with the one word screaming from Ryo`s lips…

"Bikky!!" 


	2. Chapter 2 Dodging Bullets

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So Far Away…

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Chapter Two - Dodging bullets 

The bitter autumn wind dissipated into nothing, cries of pain and overwhelming anguish biting through the cruel satirical aftertaste in nature's mouth. The golden sun that fell down upon the earth marred into the sceptres of wilting black roses as shadows engulfed the daylight; layers upon layers of heavy ebony crowded together in a pitch mass of nonentity. Hard, ragged bricks of the alleyway screamed out in old blood; rustic red dancing through the shadows, glinting off the animosity of aged dusk black. 

Desperate footsteps scratched across the ground, the metal buckling of panting breaths as darkness welcomed with an immortal hug, "Bikky!" Ryo cried out, turning the corner down into the small side street. He froze in position as he saw the blonde haired youth. 

They all gathered around him, large, brutal weapons in their grungy fists: crowbar, baseball bat, knife. Most quite the unconventional sheaths yet the type that would make the proprietor feel powerful; in control. A few successions of good hits and smacks here and there and the battle was as good as over…in some cases, before it even really began. Their shadows drew along the thick concrete, congregating together in a large puddle of death ran cold. Each set of cold, expectant eyes grinning like baby demons at Christmas as they leered over their latest `victim`. 

Ryo reached for his gun, hands shaking as he dared not to take his gaze away from the scene before him, God knows what they might do…

"Wouldn't do that if I were you, _officer_" a gruff voice spun out of beady little lips. Dirty blonde hair hung limply from an unshaven face, bruises padded the eyes like cotton wool wrapped in barbed wire, battered blue slits staring out vengefully as darkness collected around the ragged clothing barely encasing him. 

The semi-Japanese man's breath caught in his throat, a strangled whisper of a coughing sound spluttering soundlessly only in his own mind. Fists clenched at his sides, the gun laying only a few movements away as he narrowed his eyes at what looked to be the gang leader. Not saying anything, his fingers flexed around the molten black steel of the weapon, just about to pull it out on them when a deep, almost threatening yell cut through him harshly. 

"I _said _I wouldn't do that if I were you" the voice snapped, followed up with the decisive clicking as a gun was placed forcefully against Bikky`s head, "Unless of course, you want the kid to get his brains blown out" a deliriously evil grin worked over cracked lips, taunting. 

Ryo gulped, slowly moving his fingers away from his own gun. It was a tough thing to have to do yet it was the only way he saw safe at the moment, "Why are you doing this?" he asked as confidently as he could, nerves of the whole situation haunting him more so than the lingering feeling that something wasn't right. That it wasn't all going to end on a good note…

A small chuckle, growing in volume as every second passed. Manic laughter spooling out from the depths of the alleyway as the young victim tried to struggled in the man's grip, only egging him on more with the gun, of course. "Isn't that obvious yet?" blue eyes snickered before turning as cold as the death that hung in the air, "We do it because we like it…the smell of blood, the taste of wasting another pathetic little life. It's such a great feeling, surely you agree officer? I betcha you've killed someone, shot at someone sometime. Or at least wanted to hmm? Go on…you can tell`us" 

Calming lids fell over obsidian eyes, a few deep breaths emanating from the officer as he tried to retain his cool composure. Cases like these were the ones that really got to him, bringing back memories of the days when he was one his own; alone and defenceless like many of these children, he gulped, opening his eyes once again to the blanketing darkness that engulfed him, "Why kids?" 

"Surely you can figure that one out" 

A sickness washed over the blonde-haired officer as it hit him. Why else? Because they were defenceless. They wouldn't be able to escape. Willing victims…He didn't know whether to feel angry at such a thing or upset, pitiful. It was all just confusing him, a murmuring of another gun clicking into firing-position caught his attention and he averted his gaze to the right. Eyes staring aimlessly at the double-ended barrel of a gun pointed straight at him, "You sick bastards" he shot back, eyes widening as he watched the leader begin to pull the trigger on the gun to Bikky`s head, who, surprisingly, was silent. He didn't want to even contemplate as to why…

"Two birds with one stone" echoed through the shadows as the sound of the gun pointed to Ryo also clicked the safety-latch off, trigger being pulled back slightly before a sharp, piercing bang cut through the air. Silver bullet spiralling towards the semi-Japanese man as he stood there, partially in shock. Partially not knowing what was going on; eyes still set on the gun to Bikky`s head, turning just as he heard the shot but it was too late…

Blood splattered his face, red liquid sticking against his cool flesh, trickling down into his eyes. He was pretty sure his clothes were covered too, along with every part of his body yet he didn't care right then. Wondering why it was he didn't feel any pain, none at all. Turning a hard stare onto the leader it was only then he noticed the absence of Bikky tight in the man's grip, with a light whimper the gang took on their heels and ran. The look in the officer's eyes was _not _one of mercy. 

"Ryo!" the dark eyed officer stood in a daze, placing a hand against his chest and staring aimlessly at the blood that marred the delicate handprint, each line trickling through the flesh filled with crimson as it traced messily over his skin, "Ryo!" the yell came again. He was sure he recognised the voice…a strangled, wispy breath followed, along with a couple of grunts and struggling cries. 

"Ryo!!" it came louder and finally caught the man's attention, forcefully pulling him out of his state of shock and somewhat apprehension and towards the direction of the voice, "Ryo, help…" it was Bikky, he recognised it now. But why did he sound so…strangled? Worried? The bullet hadn't hit _him _had it? No…impossible, he would have been dead if it had, considering the range…So why…? 

Ryo turned and his heart froze in his chest at the sight before him, rushing over as if even running the fastest wasn't quick enough. And to him, it wasn't. There, lying on top of Bikky was the blood-soaked body of none other than…

"Dee…" 

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So that's whose blood it was…Ryo thought, irrationally, _He must have dived in front of me, grabbing Bikky too…Oh God…_

Without another word he bent down and lifted Dee from the suffocating young boy, pulling the dark-haired officer's body tight against his own and holding him with all the strength he had. Gripping desperately at the material that covered Dee`s back as if it would hurt him physically to let go…a single tear trickled down his cheek as he held onto his partner. It was very very cold. 


	3. chapter 3 Lost in Illusion

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So Far Away…

Chapter 3 - Lost in illusion…

I reach for the sky

And call out your name

And if I could trade  
I would

And it feels  
And it feels like   
Heaven is so far away…

It had only taken twenty-five minutes for the ambulance to arrive, yet for Ryo it had seemed more like years. Each second that melted away and faded into the realms of omnipotent existence welting yet another memory, frozen in the image of lost perfection. The cool air spiralled around the officer as he clung tightly onto the raven-haired man in his arms, tears biting in a hazed presence of fallen boundaries. 

The sunlight shifted, tinting hues of concentration mellowing into distant beams of afternoon fog; chasing shadows along the pavement. The body pressed against his own was warm; he crossed that off as being a good sign. Heat meant life, hope and that was one thing he couldn't let go of right now. If he did he knew what would happen without even considering such in the slightest - if he let go of the trust in Dee surviving he would break. 

Everything he had spent the last few years building up would shatter in a heartbeat, as if it had never really been there. 

First it had been his parents - spending the first seventeen years of his life in quivering naivety, the knowledge that such things as death were only second-hand experiences and would never come so close as to touch him personally. He'd been wrong about that now, hadn't he? He had danced with death and then ran, always running from what he knew was right. Looking down at the blood-tainted body of his partner he sighed, "I guess the dance never does end…" he whispered almost silently, absently running a finger through the ice-cold blood on the floor. 

He hated this. 

He hated the fact that it brought back so many unsated memories. 

That it surfaced so much pain he thought he was rid of. 

Another sigh, "But most of all, I hate that I feel so useless…." 

A single tear trickled down his cheek and echoed sadness through the crimson lining the ground. 

He hated that it hurt so much. 

A drizzled wind wound its way through the thin hospital corridors, haunting and somewhat Hollywood-like in terms such as wanton horror movies where everybody in the place ended up getting slashed to death by the ghost of the resident psycho. That was not a pleasant thought at the time. 

"Excuse me, sir?" the gentle, lulling voice of the nurse softened the piercing sting of the scenery somewhat yet the man slouched in the seat before her didn't seem to even acknowledge her presence. 

Staring blankly at the opposite wall Ryo fought to keep his grip on the situation, his mind constantly wavering between one thing and the next yet every stream of thoughts crowding his mind focused solely on his dark-haired partner. His eyes would occasionally skim around the room for any signs of news on Dee yet for the past five hours not even a whisper of his condition had came his way, at that point he had allowed himself to submerge fully in the complexities of his own mind - anything was better than walking along the edge of uncertainty. When they had first brought Dee in, even then, the Doctor hadn't been able to assure him with the conviction that the man would live. 

Come to think of it, Ryo mused to himself, he hadn't assured him of much. All that had been said was that they would do their best, as if Dee was just another number in a long list of possible deaths. 

Obsidian orbs narrowed slightly, "He **isn't** just another number" he whispered, tone full of hurt and stubbornness. A pair of emerald green eyes flashed before him and he stretched out a hand to touch their proprietor, "If you die Dee, I`ll never talk to you again" fingers glided softly over smooth skin and a sculptured jaw before coming into contact with pliable silken hair. He froze - Dee didn't have hair that long. 

Ryo timidly blinked and looked up, flushing a rather deep crimson and tears springing to his eyes at the sudden realisation. He pulled his hand away immediately, embarrassed. 

"Sir?" the nurse inquired her green eyes examining the man in the seat carefully. He didn't look too good. Actually, if she had to give words to such a look, she would have to say the Japanese man looked as if he had been the one getting shot and not his partner, "Sir, are you ok?" 

He blinked a few times, pulling himself back into reality as he sullenly met the nurse's gaze, "Gomen…I…I thought you were somebody else" he blushed at the concept.

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What if they were? His mind taunted, _What if it was Dee standing before you right now? _

"I…I don't know" he whispered aloud in response, not even registering that he was speaking anywhere but in his head. 

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You do, you know what you would do and what you would want to do. You would want to hug him, to kiss him and tell him it would be ok but you wouldn't. You never do, do you? 

He gulped, no longer aware of the nurse standing over him with a rather sympathetic look on her face. He swallowed hard, "I…I have good reason" he argued despite not really being sure of such anymore. 

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Good reason? Oh you mean that little glitch whereas society frowns on such things and you could never ever go against the flow... 

"It's…not like that!" 

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Oh really? So what is it like then hmm?

Ryo sighed, "It's just….well….I'm not gay ok!!" 

"Sir, I don't mind about your sexual preferences. This is a pretty open-minded hospital but if you could keep it down a little please so I could explain to you about your….partner's condition" 

He blushed and nodded mutely, "Sorry, so what is it you wanted to tell me about…about Dee?" 

She smiled understandingly and sat down next to him, face suddenly serious. 

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This can't be good…. 

"Well…" the nurse began, "Your partner is still in the operating theatre right now but the Doctor told me I could inform you of what they had found" she met his gaze willing him to take this gently, "The good news is that the bullet missed his lungs but the bad news is that it penetrated his left kidney, he has immense internal bleeding and the tissue is torn beyond repair" 

Tears slowly collected in Ryo`s eyes at that point, unwillingly, "W…will he be ok?" he asked, unsure whether he wanted to know the answer or not. 

The nurse sighed, "It's pretty much push and go at the moment, the bleeding isn't so bad as it was before and once it has come to a near stop the only possible course of action is to remove the kidney in question. He will be able to function without it yet it will make him somewhat more susceptible to certain viruses and colds, it will lower his immunity to a degree" 

Ryo nodded as the words sunk in with a loud thump, hitting the one spot that seemed to have been acting as a reassurance in the past. 

"But" she continued, taking in the man's broken expression and tearing eyes, "So long as no further complications occur he should be fine. The doctor's are planning to operate on him as soon as possible, may I suggest that you go home and get some sleep. Come back in the morning if you wish…" 

He had no idea what came over him but before he could stop it the words had poured from his lips, "I'm not leaving Dee" 

The woman smiled, "Now I know you must be worried about your partner and that is only natural but you need to take care of yourself right now as well" 

Ryo swallowed hard as tears clenched his throat tight, his eyes darkened with emotion as he turned a futile gaze on the nurse, "He saved my life" he stated, "That bullet was aimed at me, he…he dived in front of me….I didn't know what was happening….I…..I…." 

The nurse placed a gentle hand on his shoulder as she stood up, smiling as soft as she knew how, "I understand. You're welcome to stay if you wish but I'm sure he would want you to look after yourself, wouldn't he" 

A light smile played over the part Japanese man's lips as a fond memory twinged in his head, "Yeah, he'd tell me to stop worrying about other people for once" 

"Maybe you should take his advice" the nurse supplied before turning on heel and deftly descending down the silence-ridden corridor leaving Ryo alone in his thoughts. 

Automatically, his head fell into his hands as the pain overtook him, "I…..Can't" 

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You love him, don't you? 

…………………….

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Don`t you? 

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"Gomen…" 

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